In preparation for the upcoming installment of Early Late Night's #MonologueMonday, we're asking you guys to come up with the best comments you can for the prompt #LiesLochteToldMe.
"I had the opportunity to train with a jiu-jitsu newb the other day (a youngin somewhere in the age of 21-25 years young), who had solid movement and guard retention skills. I was able to pass his guard a couple times (just narrowly), but I was impressed with the solid foundation he has already strung together in his relative short time practicing BJJ. At the end of the roll I tried to compliment his technique, but he shot it down, shook his head and said, 'if you were younger you would have absolutely murdered me.'
It was a nice compliment (I think)"
"But we’re cool now, Mr. President. Even though you put my boss, my ace co-worker, and many of my pages through hell the one time I ever dared to ask for a vacation."
While there is a great amount of hurt and pain experienced by so many this evening, I choose not to go to bed cynical.
I know it is crushing for all those who supported Hillary Clinton to face the reality she will not be the 45th President of the United States, but I hope you take the following into consideration:
Tonight a major political party had a woman at the top of the ticket who garnered more than 60 million votes (and, when it's all said and done, may very likely win the popular vote).
"We all love James Corden. He's an adorably charming talk show host who has won over our hearts with multiple karaoke sessions in cars. But yesterday he proudly proclaimed that he wanted to make the return of boy bands a priority on his talk show when he brought out the Backstreet Boys to perform on his stage.
Which would be great if we hadn't of started the trend first."
"Myself and my pal Mikey Stallings decided to watch the entire WWE Clash of Champions live event this evening. Amidst a night of predictable finishes, Mikey and I had a great time talking about all the action from tonight's fun pro wrestling spectacle."